I had a miscarriage on Saturday.
I wish that I didn't announce my pregnancy so soon. Because now I have to announce my miscarriage to everyone. Next time, I'll hold my excitement in a little bit longer.
Anyway, I started spotting brown on Saturday morning. I didn't think too much of it because a lot of people spot brown in early pregnancy. Although, deep down, I think that I knew something wasn't right.
The bleeding kept getting heavier and it turned into a dark red color. I decided to go to urgent care. I was there for 6 hours. They checked my cervix and it was closed, which was a good sign. They did blood work and my HcG levels were normal. They did an ultrasound and the baby seemed to be fine. The heart was beating and the doctor could offer no logical explanation for the bleeding. So they sent me home.
When I got home, I started experiencing very painful cramps. They felt very similar to labor pains. Then I started bleeding like crazy. I sat on the toilet and blood kept pouring out of me. And there were lots of huge clots coming out as well. Based on what I have heard about miscarriages, I knew that's what was happening.
I really wanted to go to sleep, but the cramps were too painful for me to relax. So I took some Tylenol. The Tylenol didn't kick in for about an hour. I fell asleep after that, but then woke up less than an hour later because I had bled through my pad. That continued throughout the night.
The next day was Sunday and I really didn't want to go into urgent care again. So I figured that I would wait until Monday to see an OBGYN in order to confirm whether or not I had a miscarriage.
I saw an OBGYN this morning and they did an ultrasound. As was suspected, there was nothing in my uterus anymore.
I cried. Jon cried. It's a sad thing, losing a baby. It made it harder because I had just seen the little heart beat on Saturday. All that I can think about is that little heartbeat and how it suddenly stopped. And how I flushed it down the toilet, unknowingly. It just breaks my heart.
But I know, deep down, that it is for the better. I couldn't have done anything to prevent it. The doctor said that there was probably some chromosomal abnormalities in the fetus that caused it to abort itself.
And if I had to have a miscarriage, I'm glad that it happened with this one. I wasn't waiting for months to get pregnant, like I was with the other two. If I had been waiting for months to get pregnant and then have this happen, it would have been a million times worse. So I truly consider myself blessed.
I had to tell Lizzie that Mommy didn't have a baby inside of her anymore. She sensed that I was sad and so she said "Wait, Mommy. I have something that will make you happy.". She ran into her room and pulled out her doctor kit. Then she came back to me put the thermometer in my mouth and told me to say "Ahhh". I did and then she said "See? You're all better. You can be happy now.". She is such a sweet little girl!
Anyway, that's what happened in our family this weekend.
I wish that I didn't announce my pregnancy so soon. Because now I have to announce my miscarriage to everyone. Next time, I'll hold my excitement in a little bit longer.
Anyway, I started spotting brown on Saturday morning. I didn't think too much of it because a lot of people spot brown in early pregnancy. Although, deep down, I think that I knew something wasn't right.
The bleeding kept getting heavier and it turned into a dark red color. I decided to go to urgent care. I was there for 6 hours. They checked my cervix and it was closed, which was a good sign. They did blood work and my HcG levels were normal. They did an ultrasound and the baby seemed to be fine. The heart was beating and the doctor could offer no logical explanation for the bleeding. So they sent me home.
When I got home, I started experiencing very painful cramps. They felt very similar to labor pains. Then I started bleeding like crazy. I sat on the toilet and blood kept pouring out of me. And there were lots of huge clots coming out as well. Based on what I have heard about miscarriages, I knew that's what was happening.
I really wanted to go to sleep, but the cramps were too painful for me to relax. So I took some Tylenol. The Tylenol didn't kick in for about an hour. I fell asleep after that, but then woke up less than an hour later because I had bled through my pad. That continued throughout the night.
The next day was Sunday and I really didn't want to go into urgent care again. So I figured that I would wait until Monday to see an OBGYN in order to confirm whether or not I had a miscarriage.
I saw an OBGYN this morning and they did an ultrasound. As was suspected, there was nothing in my uterus anymore.
I cried. Jon cried. It's a sad thing, losing a baby. It made it harder because I had just seen the little heart beat on Saturday. All that I can think about is that little heartbeat and how it suddenly stopped. And how I flushed it down the toilet, unknowingly. It just breaks my heart.
But I know, deep down, that it is for the better. I couldn't have done anything to prevent it. The doctor said that there was probably some chromosomal abnormalities in the fetus that caused it to abort itself.
And if I had to have a miscarriage, I'm glad that it happened with this one. I wasn't waiting for months to get pregnant, like I was with the other two. If I had been waiting for months to get pregnant and then have this happen, it would have been a million times worse. So I truly consider myself blessed.
I had to tell Lizzie that Mommy didn't have a baby inside of her anymore. She sensed that I was sad and so she said "Wait, Mommy. I have something that will make you happy.". She ran into her room and pulled out her doctor kit. Then she came back to me put the thermometer in my mouth and told me to say "Ahhh". I did and then she said "See? You're all better. You can be happy now.". She is such a sweet little girl!
Anyway, that's what happened in our family this weekend.
9 comments:
Dear Andrea, oh my sweet sweet friend! I am so sorry. I know, that really no one can say anything to make you feel better, I know the Lord is really the only one who can heal our hearts, but I need you to know that I love you and you are in my heart always! I will keep you in my prayers and I know the Lord will bless you and your family with all that your hearts need. Please let me help you, I am here for you.
Andrea, I am so sorry! I was so sad to see this! Losing a baby is one of the hardest things anyone can go through. It breaks your heart and no one else can really understand what you are going through. I really am sorry. We love you and will be praying for you.
I am SO sorry, Andrea. I should be able to say or do something, but I know I can't. I am your sister and I wish I could help. Let me know if there's anything I can do for you. I can take the kids for a bit so you can think for a while? Anything. Love you and I have everyone I can think of praying for you right now.
I'm sorry Andrea. The Lord knows how you feel and His love and spirit is probably the only thing that can truly comfort you. But just know I'm praying for you and your family that you will feel comforted through this tough time.
I am so very sorry and saddened by your news. Although I haven't experienced it myself, I understand how hard it can be. We will keep you in our prayers.
What a sweetie Lizzy is!
Oh, Andrea! I'm so, so sorry. Sending lots of hugs and prayers your way. I'm glad that Lizzie is taking such good care of you.
I'm sorry. I hope that you can feel some comfort at this time. We will pray for you :)
You are in my prayers!
:(
If you haven't heard a song by Jessie Clark Funk called "Calling All Angels" you should listen to it.
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